Thursday, 28 January 2010

Big Issue

Big Issue n.  Media company selling weekly magazines in bulk to poor people. It’s not on a sale or return basis so poor people basically throw away unsold but paid for mags when the next issue comes out. Poor people are helped by being given the status of self employed beggars taking financial risks.

The marketing genius of the company can be seen in the number of celebrities convinced that they are a philanthropic organisation rather than a media company.

(from The Correctly Correct Dictionary)

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Homophobia and the Press Code

The Press Code says you shouldn't slag off anyone with a mental illness.

So why do people with a phobia about homosexuals get such a hard time under Gay Labour?

Proof About Foreigners!

Mr Blair is the most popular person in the World.

Outside Britain that is.

He earns the price of a house for each speech he gives!

(Of course the True Brit doesn't need to be told about Johnny Foreigner.)

Monday, 25 January 2010

Satan's scapegoat

Poor old Mr Bliar.

How about Edward Heath the liar though?

How about the whole bloody lot of them!

the Good Book Update

After the Fall of Man Satan said, "God's had his chance. You don't really want to toil do you? Follow me and you'll be alright". So the simple of mind followed him and asked "How shall we serve you O Master?". And Satan said "Make the Poor even more miserable" So they went and made the Poor even more miserable. Then one day they noticed the Poor were temporarily escaping being miserable by having the odd tipple. Hell raged.

Satan's disciplines demanded that the Poor be deprived of their tipples. "Put the price up. Make drink unaffordable" screamed Janet Street Porter and others. They cried "Pleasure belongs to the elite on Earth. Us. Not them. If the Poor are to drink let the cost drive them into the gutter. "

Some however said "Why not just bring back the old licensing hours?". "What" cried Hell "How stupid can you get? We get it both ways by increasing the price and collecting taxes all night."

Saturday, 23 January 2010

Sell Media Products For Free

Why aren't war and disaster victims paid for their close ups that sell so well?

Satan is really mean..

Friday, 22 January 2010

All Politicians Are Equal

"The implementation of post Soviet 'Equality' in Britian is simply sexual and racial bullying of the population; alone it renders Britain an illegitimate state under the UN Declaration of Human Rights"
 Brother Paul who studied International Politics

At school we were all taught the lesson about Equality in Animal Farm.

Well, apart from those who went into so called government.

Equality under the law was already enshrined (in theory anyway).

However, the new concept of equality has nothing to do with equality under the law.

New Labour's sodomite fundamentalist's concept of equality - all designed as a smokescreen to produce sodomite supremacy - updates Stalin's paradigm for equality that rendered millions of peasants enemies of the State.

New Labour certainly seems strong enough to turn all normal people into personae non gratae.

As the government tells us all:

"Working for you. For your children. For your dreams.  For your happiness.  For the angels in Heaven, not forgetting Satan of course - he's more equal than anyone."

Monday, 18 January 2010


Beelzebubians want to further criminalise traditional Christian Churches, as they find them disturbing with all that emphasis on being good.  

Under Beelzebubian amendments to The Equality Act, anyone could sue the Church if they're not given a job after declaring their allegiance to Satan..

There is a petition against this at

If I'd written the petition I would have started it with "We pray for the souls of Michael Corleone and all those who vote for the amendments to the Equality Act"


Wednesday, 13 January 2010



Ok, I've just been warming up so far. Time to land a punch on Satan's fat snotty honker.

Now, fans of classic Police TV series will know that "nothing smells worse than a bent copper".

The smelly coppers in question though weren't the most exalted and important ones.  That is, not the ones with that half alive look you get in horror movies.

So how does the smell of top bent coppers rate? Well the bigger they are, the pongier they smell. So in fact 'nothing smells worse than a top bent copper'.

Does it though? How about a whole collective noun of top bent coppers? They must be a nuclear pong!! Or neutron pong as they don't destroy buildings.

Well, the collective noun of top coppers - ACPO, The Association of Chief Police Officers - does indeed act outside the law, and when unmentionable sexual acts are involved too - .

So we arrive at the conclusion that


Under ACPO's  'leadership' I also had a burly sergeant visit to sort me out once because I had asked the police to make an occasional appearance to criminal meetings. The meetings were about how many sodded used condoms would be left outside my beach hut for me to clear up in the morning.  I think he left more sorted than me - after all, we have to help the police.

ACPO's criminal idea behind all this, inspired by Satan of course, was that some criminals are distrustful of the police, so to get the criminals' trust the police harass anyone who reports the criminals or makes any uncomplimentary observation about the criminals.  To further gain the trust of criminals the police recruits in criminal magazines advertising criminal meeting places, to get criminals into the police so that criminals can trust the police even more. Allowing the criminals to set the police on anyone who crosses them or who irritates them (like people going to Church on a Sunday) makes the criminals feel even safer and happy with the police.

ACPO is a private company of power corrupted Chief Constables, outside of FOI and who act outside the law, who have hijacked the Police Force, inverted all traditional values that the Police used to hold, who established institutionalised harassment of the public, not to mention their influence in freaking out junior officers every time their homosexual superiors ask them round for coffee in their spare time, and did so with the help of a fake charity, Common Purpose, that has created a rank smelling new freemasonry environment throughout public life.

Justice is not seen to be done with senior officers walking the streets free as a bird with their peaked caps!

We need a new Police Force !!

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

AA in English

"It's spluttering" I said to the AA breakdown call centre.

"What is that?" came the reply.

"It happened after I filled with Tesco petrol. I think it's taken in water or bad petrol. It's spluttering" I expanded.

"What is spluttering?" I was again asked.

Now I consider anything wrong with the car as a crisis situation. In a crisis situation I am just not at my best as a walking thesaurus . However, as the chap at the other end clearly wasn't English, I tried to nail down the meaning as best I could "Spluttering, it's an English word."

"That's racist. I'm reporting this call to my manager"


"That's racist. I'm reporting this call to my manager" I think was spoken several times before the line went quiet.

Clearly my arch enemy (see ) is trying very hard to drive the last known sane person in the country - myself that is - completely bonkers.  Try as the Fiend might, I shall remain calm.   Except in a crisis of course.

POSTSCRIPT  The AA have apologised  22/1/2010

Friday, 8 January 2010

Snow, Glorious Snow


Well I like it. 

There used to be more of it though when I was at school.  It didn't give us a holiday as soon as term started, so schoolchildren today must like it even more than me.  So must the delivery driver who couldn't deliver towels to my Club because of  half an inch of snow that had melted the day before on the road.  I had to dry off in the sauna.

I think the prejudice that has grown up towards snow today is caused because it's white.  Traditionally, white represents good, and alongside useful and friendly carrier bags (see first post ) Satan also hates white.

Incidentally, Satan also hates fresh bottled water from a spring, particularly in the car, rather than tap water that goes stale, which Satan likes to drink. Satan, well, some gay labour ministers, claim it's immoral for people to chose to drink God's water.