Sunday, 4 November 2012

Civil Partnerships - Tips for Terrorists and Pension Advice

The simplest method of getting a British passport if you're a foreign terrorist is to sign a Civil Partnership form.

Just get a follower in Britain to sign a Civil Partnership with you.

Don’t worry, you don’t have to be a homosexual!
As registrars have pointed out, you just need to be a same sex couple under the law. Registrars don’t have to enquire what sort of same sex couple you are.

They’d rather not in fact.

The registrar doesn’t have to ask you to produce a doctor’s letter or tick a box as to whether you’re unisexual self loving males, bisexual homosexuals, bisexual heterosexuals, a bisexual homosexual and a bisexual heterosexual,  two female to male transsexuals, two male to female transsexuals, or just two mental patients.

There's no legal requirement for two people of the same sex to be sexually disoriented for them to be eligible to enter into a Civil Partnership.

Also don’t worry about any downside to Civil Partnerships.
You can still then get legally married in your own country - do it before it gets nuked from Sodom though.

Once you’ve signed you can then apply for your leave to stay and your British passport after you’ve graced the country enough. There shouldn’t be any problem about the passport either according to the Home Office unless you’ve become too famous as a terrorist.

Any problems and just contact any nearby friendly passport  agency.

You’ll find them under the Sexuality heading in the front of the phone book. Remember that in the West, the word ‘Sexuality’ means homosexuality whenever you come across the word (heterosexuality is not recognised in English Law).

They should be able to advise you or deal with your application to save you the trouble. Just remember what Mohammed said though about how to behave  in the enemy camp. Act offended if anyone mentions terrorism or heterosexuality.

You should though feel quite at home with them. You have a lot in common. After all, you believe that Mohammed was right to behead Jews who didn't believe that he was God's favourite person, because Mohammed is God's favourite person. And they believe in an undiscovered homo- and bisexual genetic program causing sexual dyslexia, the impulsive need to never stop telling everybody about it, accompanied with the further belief that anyone who doesn’t say “how sweet” is suffering from an unrecognized medical phobia - 'homophobia'.

Well, maybe you don’t have that much in common with them after all. 

Never mind though, if you stay in the West long enough you might.

Now, once you’ve got your dual minority cover sorted, you’ll find that as a British homosexual Muslim in a civil partnership you should have no problem from the Police guided by ACPO.

Don't forget to mention your homosexual Muslim civil partnership if you get stopped casing Whitehall. You'll find a civil partnership is better than a Press Card for your purposes and  much easier to get. You might even try adopting a baby to train him from birth for his mission. That should be easier than getting a Press Card too in a country that loves freedom of speech so much. Enjoy.

Of course, if you want real kudos, a fantastic cover, and special treatment, just come over and apply to stay claiming you’re a gay activist from Iran. Your application will automatically be accepted under the rules for heroes. An appointment will then be arranged for tea with the Queen, and autograph signing at local police gay meetings. You’ll probably get a Press Card given to you as special gesture by The Guardian or The Independent  as well, with a Welcome card signed by all the columnists.

Now you should be able to get similar access and  passports to most of your major global targets. In fact all your targets are likely to be homosexual countries so the civil partnership route can be used in them all.

By  the way, don’t bother dissolving a civil partnership to get another in a different country. They’ll never know and Allah has more important demands on your time.

If you need to dissolve one though, use the reason “Non consummation – both parties discovered they were heterosexual”.  If a judge asks any questions just say neither of you believed in sex before marriage, and that you only thought you were homosexual because that’s what you were taught at school under your country’s  Education, Education, Education policy.

Another ground would be ‘unreasonable behaviour’. Explain to the judge that the other chap kept telling everyone, everywhere you went, that he was your wife. Not only that, he kept wanting to sodomise you when you were alone. You could use any grounds actually. The judge won’t want to keep you any longer than he has to, before he can get back to some sensible law - although that would have to be from pretty far back.

Alternatively, tell the truth “We entered into it to get one of us rights of access to your country. The law only requires two signatures of people of the same sex to get total rights and privileges to everything in your country. We have nothing like it in our country and we are so grateful that Allah has made you stark staring bonkers so that you can be properly buggered. Now will you dissolve the bl**dy thing?”.

Author's Note:  To the whining homosexual and the discriminated against bestiality promoter who've written to me, I say this.  Read this book , realise how lucky you are, get your heads out of your arses, and get a life.