Thursday, 31 December 2009

The Lost Symbol

So the official explanation of why the Freemasonry symbol of the All Seeing Eye was put on American dollar notes whilst Freemasons were involved in setting up America, is that it's, er, um, a coincidence.   Well Baldrick who did the interview over Christmas may have fell for that, but Dan Brown does seem to have uncovered something genuinely suspicious.

Mind you, this all pales in comparison to my expose in my book of how the Romans planned a second execution for Jesus Christ after the first one didn't work, and how this led to the setting up of the Taliban 2000 years later after arabs discovered a palimpsest containing a lost fragment of  Gaius's Elements of Roman Law.

Yet even this shrinks in significance to the New Calendar that came into force in Old Time October 1992.
So far only one person, um, myself is using it.  It's brilliant though. It's not possible to draw up the calendar more than one week ahead, so there are reduced problems in over-committing oneself.  Another feature is that as it's not always convenient to celebrate solstices and equinoxes when they occur, only official eqinoxes and solstices are celebrated on convenient dates, which of course can vary from year to year.  

 Film Coup - First ever Filming of the Official Solstice under the New Calendar

Once everyone in the world starts to use my calendar, everyone will stop being out of sync with me!!

Friday, 25 December 2009

Dr Who - Christmas Day

Everyone on earth turned into The Master in Dr Who. 

Now I know why I can never find anyone who agrees with me!!

Wednesday, 23 December 2009

Support Animal Rights to Run Off to the Circus!!

Animals should have the right to escape from the Zoo and run off to the Circus! You’ve never heard of a child running off to join the Zoo have you?

In the Circus they’ll be loved and have fun – in fact you can’t get an animal to perform Circus tricks if it’s unhappy like in a Zoo. Children love Circuses and Circus animals pick this up. In the Circus they’re treated as animal persons rather than zoo specimens. Circuses are fun places.

So why the obsession about banning Circuses, from nazi charities and taliban Councils to crazed MPs? After all, a Government report in 2007 said that there was no evidence there was any problem for animal needs to be met by circuses, and that any ban would be political not scientific (report based on DEFRA Working Circus Group).

The real reason crazed people banned animals in Circuses was because the sound and sight of a huge tent full of happy people, and happy children, and happy animals made these control freaks vomit. The flesh on some of them started to melt too at the thought!

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Let me see if I understand this..

The following question has been doing the email rounds: 

If you cross the North Korean border illegally, you get 12 years hard labour.
If you cross the Iranian border illegally, you are detained indefinitely.
If you cross the Afghan border illegally, you get shot.
If you cross the Saudi Arabian border illegally, you will be jailed.
If you cross the Chinese border illegally, you may never be heard from again.
If you cross the Venezuelan border illegally, you will be branded a spy and your fate will be sealed.
If you cross the Cuban border illegally, you will be thrown into political prison to rot.

However, if you cross the BRITISH border illegally, you get a job, a driver's licence, a social security card, welfare benefits, food stamps, credit cards, subsidized rent or a loan to buy a new house, free education, free health care, a lobbyist in LONDON, a legal right to criticise and berate not only our Christianity but all of our Western ideals and principals and, in many instances, you can VOTE.   Yes, I know it is so .........   but would someone please tell me why  !!!!!!!

The Answer: I've been thinking of this and have come up with the following.  Most asylum seekers or illegal entrants would tell the politician, “I love you, take me, rule over me. I travelled half way across the globe for you to have me.”. What is the politician to say? Is it “Sorry, I only do the ungrateful, whining, pains in the neck indigenous scumbags who'd never be able to complain if they lived in North Korea, Iran etc...”?   We all have to get love where we can find it.  


Dr G. said I should be using Twitter for my random thoughts.

Well, I had a random thought that only daft people with nothing else to do have the time to hang on the end of an unsolicited phone call answering endless leading questions, so how can opinion polls be representative?

Then I realized that only daft people with nothing else to do have the time to go out and mark some anonymous cross on a slip of paper numerically identifying them, so maybe opinion polls are representative of people who vote for the monster loony parties.

Then I began wondering whether a thought that logically on leads on from a random thought should be regarded as a random thought...

BTW Dr G. doesn't want to be identified as he says he's bought a brand new reputation on ebay for himself and doesn't want it tarnished by being associated with me.

Sunday, 20 December 2009

Editor Note - Posting Times

The times shown by Google against posts here are completely fictitious, unless the Americans think we're on Moon time or something.

Um, er, have now discovered timezones can be set..

Minding My Own Business

OK, I didn't start this fight (see below). I just wanted to buy a pair of warm shoes for Scotland.
In my innocence I thought Scotland was full of, well, Scottish people, making it feel like, well, Scotland. Hadn't occurred to me it was full of asian hippies getting their own back after all the hippies we sent them once.

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Martyred Carrier bags

Today I had to carry a pair of shoes from the shop to the car WITH MY BARE HANDS. Why? Because Satan and his shopper hating disciples has demonised carrier bags. The innocent, helpful, (biodegradable available) carrier bag!

Soon, you'll have to pay extra if you want the shop assistant to smile at you!!

Now I also had to pop into the bank. Well, the nice girl clerk in the bank did give me a lovely smile until she saw the shoes popping out of my jacket, as if I were a shoplifter.

Enough is enough!!   Satan has to go..!!!!