Monday, 25 January 2010

the Good Book Update

After the Fall of Man Satan said, "God's had his chance. You don't really want to toil do you? Follow me and you'll be alright". So the simple of mind followed him and asked "How shall we serve you O Master?". And Satan said "Make the Poor even more miserable" So they went and made the Poor even more miserable. Then one day they noticed the Poor were temporarily escaping being miserable by having the odd tipple. Hell raged.

Satan's disciplines demanded that the Poor be deprived of their tipples. "Put the price up. Make drink unaffordable" screamed Janet Street Porter and others. They cried "Pleasure belongs to the elite on Earth. Us. Not them. If the Poor are to drink let the cost drive them into the gutter. "

Some however said "Why not just bring back the old licensing hours?". "What" cried Hell "How stupid can you get? We get it both ways by increasing the price and collecting taxes all night."

1 comment:

  1. I look back on the old days when a bottle of champagne or beer was a bottle of champagne or beer - not an adsite full of nanny state banal advice.