Cannibals On Toast

Note: AIDS may not be Nature's last word on sexual deviancy. 
Organised bestiality groups seeking 'Equal Rights' as a  sexual minority have taken ground in the USA . 'Equal Rights' would involve marriage to animals and child adoption.

I was asked once to make some comments on a draft of Dr Bennetts book Eating Matters (now available for 1p on Amazon!).

There's a touching quote in it from affectionate, loving cannibals -  “It's better to lie inside the warm stomach of a friend than alone in the cold dark ground” .

It shows how badly organised cannibals are - they should really eat themselves in shame at not getting themselves included in the Equality Society.

Anyway here's some tips for them.

Target children, they're tastier.

Appeal therefore to equal rights and diversity to bring cannibalism into schools.

Talk about how prejudiced people are against cannibals, even if they haven’t had their toes bitten off by one.

Call your opponents canniphobic.  Liken them to Ghengis Khan or Hitler, but with brains like neanderthals.

Point to how cannibalism was accepted in some societies in history.

Use the phrase ‘healthy eating’ however rather than cannibalism.

Eventually ‘healthy eating’ would become synonymous with cannibalism.

Talk about how human protein is good and that it’s barbaric eating inferior animal meat.

Explain how human meat is best for children.

Point out how it's children's human rights to eat healthily.

Talk about human rights of cannibals as persons.

If you're a politician talk about how immoral it is for hospitals to burn human protein when the rest of the world is starving. Argue that at least the foetus, not regarded as human in any way, should be ate in a moral world. Hook up with Michelin chefs who could present the nutritional value of unwanted children in BBC cookery programmes. Get Blue Peter involved - after all 'nothing is impossible' is the BBC's motto.

 Make people feel guilty and cruel if they disapproved of healthy eating wills.  After all, people can donate their organs, why not their meaty flesh to the world?

Point to cannibalism in the animal world. After all, if it’s good enough for scorpions, it must be natural for humans to eat each other too.

Obviously you need to get films like the Hannibal Lechter ones banned for stereotyping cannibal persons, and anyone speaking out against cannibalism getting visits from Police officers under ACPO's quality hate services.

Claim there is evidence to show that many famous people in history were cannibals, like Jesus Christ, Issac Newton, Beethoven, Lillie Langtry etc.

If you're in local Government or the Police get vegetarian singers banned from Council run theatres.

Get every liberal in the country talking about ‘canniphobia’.

Set up cannibal charities to terrorise politicians into criminalising Meals on Wheels charities unless they served human omelette.

Set up cannibal helplines to recruit lost souls for your campaigns.

Cannibal journalists should ask every politician, at every opportunity, whatever the issue, whether they support healthy eating.

Repeat yourself until people found it easier to go along with you than to be called canniphobic anymore.

If you couldn't get the police to collect toenail clippings from arrested persons to donate to PC Meals on Wheels charities you really do need to eat yourself in shame.